Open Letter to Playboy Model Dani Mathers

I don’t usually call out people I don’t know personally and following the daily activities of celebrities is not my forte. But this one got to me big time.

Ms. Mathers allegedly photographed another woman in the locker room of her LA Fitness health club and posted it on the internet with the caption: “If I can’t unsee (sic) this then you can’t either.” I would not even consider for a moment posting the picture. You can read the story here.

When I first read about it, I was both enraged and disgusted. The need of some women to denigrate other women reeks of an age old paradigm that should be long past its time: that men are team players but that every other woman is every woman’s competition. The outdated nature of this mindset should leave us speechless and angry and yet it is obviously alive and well, as this incident sadly shows.

I typed up an angry, ranting comment that I didn’t post. Then I deleted it. This, then, is my second, calmer reaction.

 

Dear Miss Dani Mathers,

I don’t know WHO you are so I have no idea who you THINK you are.

Obviously, the amount of smoke the people you think are your friends have blown up your ass has led you to believe the rest of the human race is here for your pleasure and entertainment. I can hardly fathom how terribly shallow you must be that you did not think, for even a moment, the damage you would be doing to your victim when she realizes what you have done.

Let me clear it up for you. You have sexually assaulted that woman.  If she finds out, and odds are she will, this could devastate her. Will you be paying for the therapy she may need going forward as a result of your loathsome act?

She may also sue you for a large amount of money. Just FYI: Not everyone has access to expensive trainers and handlers and stylists that will ensure they always look camera ready.

You show your body in print by choice. You don’t have the right to make that choice for someone else.

I can only surmise that either you counted on the protective bubble of your “celebrity” status to insulate you from any backlash or (and I have a difficult time convincing myself of this) you are truly a sociopath who believed this was actually so funny, and that you are so much more important than this innocent woman, that everyone who saw the picture would laugh at it and then go about their lives, business as usual, no bother to ‘em. Either option boggles the mind.

I’m certainly not the one to recommend your next course of action. Certainly, it will involve retaining legal counsel. My only thought would be that you take some time and try to rekindle even the smallest spark of humanity you may have once had within you. Speak to a professional and attempt to suss out why this seemed like a brilliant idea in the first place. Then cancel your social media accounts and go visit the Dalai Lama or…something. Go do something meaningful that might remind you that you are a member of the human race and should act like one.

I’d say “best of luck” because that would be a pretty standard, snarky end line. But at this point I’m more worried about the young lady whose life may come crashing down around her any minute when she realizes what has happened. So you’re just going to have to take care of yourself.

Yours truly

A woman who will no longer trust other women in the locker room. Thanks for that.

“We have news for the beautiful people. There’s a lot more of us than there are of you.”   Lewis Skolnick (Revenge of the Nerds)

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Tragedies and Gun Rights. A Conversation.

The tragedy in Newtown, Connecticut has cast a pall on our area. We are only about 40 miles from there. Folks working in nearby Ridgefield, CT lost their children. It is a nightmare, only made worse by the time of year.

I’ve said it before. I am a gun owner. I shoot sporting clays. I follow all the rules and jump through every hoop there is so I can own my firearms safely and enjoy my sport. Myself and my fellow shooters have remained quiet in this week following the shooting out of respect for the gravity of the situation. On my Facebook timeline, I have watched as friends have posted memorial messages and photos from the funerals. Most have been so very respectful, as is expected.
But, among my friends, a few have started to publish very harsh posts aimed at gun owners. We’re being equated with the perpetrator or we’re being patronized as they implore us to “turn in your guns” as if we were all gang members waiting to go on a rampage. I stayed quiet for as long as I could, but I finally decided that being quiet simply was not something I could continue to do. I did reply to one friend’s questioning of why the NRA has no fund for victims of gun violence with a short, simple response.

Then came “S”. She is one of my friends from town. Every day she has posted heartfelt posts about the shooting. They have been constant however the tone has now changed substantially. I couldn’t sit by any more and so I added a comment. I’m no expert on any one subject. For better or for worse, here’s the convo.  I am C, she is S, her husband is Ste. The others are just some of her friends. I’ve hidden the names to protect the…whatever. Continue reading