Open Letter to Playboy Model Dani Mathers

I don’t usually call out people I don’t know personally and following the daily activities of celebrities is not my forte. But this one got to me big time.

Ms. Mathers allegedly photographed another woman in the locker room of her LA Fitness health club and posted it on the internet with the caption: “If I can’t unsee (sic) this then you can’t either.” I would not even consider for a moment posting the picture. You can read the story here.

When I first read about it, I was both enraged and disgusted. The need of some women to denigrate other women reeks of an age old paradigm that should be long past its time: that men are team players but that every other woman is every woman’s competition. The outdated nature of this mindset should leave us speechless and angry and yet it is obviously alive and well, as this incident sadly shows.

I typed up an angry, ranting comment that I didn’t post. Then I deleted it. This, then, is my second, calmer reaction.


Dear Miss Dani Mathers,

I don’t know WHO you are so I have no idea who you THINK you are.

Obviously, the amount of smoke the people you think are your friends have blown up your ass has led you to believe the rest of the human race is here for your pleasure and entertainment. I can hardly fathom how terribly shallow you must be that you did not think, for even a moment, the damage you would be doing to your victim when she realizes what you have done.

Let me clear it up for you. You have sexually assaulted that woman.  If she finds out, and odds are she will, this could devastate her. Will you be paying for the therapy she may need going forward as a result of your loathsome act?

She may also sue you for a large amount of money. Just FYI: Not everyone has access to expensive trainers and handlers and stylists that will ensure they always look camera ready.

You show your body in print by choice. You don’t have the right to make that choice for someone else.

I can only surmise that either you counted on the protective bubble of your “celebrity” status to insulate you from any backlash or (and I have a difficult time convincing myself of this) you are truly a sociopath who believed this was actually so funny, and that you are so much more important than this innocent woman, that everyone who saw the picture would laugh at it and then go about their lives, business as usual, no bother to ‘em. Either option boggles the mind.

I’m certainly not the one to recommend your next course of action. Certainly, it will involve retaining legal counsel. My only thought would be that you take some time and try to rekindle even the smallest spark of humanity you may have once had within you. Speak to a professional and attempt to suss out why this seemed like a brilliant idea in the first place. Then cancel your social media accounts and go visit the Dalai Lama or…something. Go do something meaningful that might remind you that you are a member of the human race and should act like one.

I’d say “best of luck” because that would be a pretty standard, snarky end line. But at this point I’m more worried about the young lady whose life may come crashing down around her any minute when she realizes what has happened. So you’re just going to have to take care of yourself.

Yours truly

A woman who will no longer trust other women in the locker room. Thanks for that.

“We have news for the beautiful people. There’s a lot more of us than there are of you.”   Lewis Skolnick (Revenge of the Nerds)


Hang On – Taylor Swift’s Video is Offensive??

taylor swift video photo

I make a point of not getting too involved in the lives of those I don’t know personally, in general. In other words, the lives and loves of “celebrities” don’t matter too much on a day-to-day basis to me. But this one I have to mention. Just briefly. Because someone just asked me if I’d seen Nicki Minaj’s new video. My answer, of course, was no. I was entreated to check it out and I did.

Now, I like Nicki and I enjoy some of her music. But a chord was struck. Just last week I remembered seeing an article. Some rap person named Sweatshirt, whom I’ve never heard of, got himself a sliver of attention by stating that Taylor Swift’s new video perpetuated “black stereotypes to the same demographic of white girls who hide their prejudice by proclaiming their love of the culture.” He went on to say “For instance, those of you who are afraid of black people but love that in 2014 it’s ok for you to be trill or twerk or say n—a.”

This, of course, forced me to actually watch Ms. Swift’s video. I lean more toward Metallica and Halestorm, but I thought it was cute and perky. Ms. Minaj’s video is also pretty perky. My question to Mr. Shirt is this: How do you feel about Nicki’s video? If she’s not “perpetuating black stereotypes”, then tell me what she is doing. Or is it only us white folk who can manage to offend in such a way? Anaconda? I’m old enough to know the rest of the words to that song. Evidently, baby still got back. And when did twerking, as ridiculous as it is, become property of one portion of the population?

I just ask that you watch both videos. Then tell me if I’m off track here. Here’s the offensive Taylor Swift ditty.

And here’s Nicki. She’s looking good, actually

So? Am I nuts?

Redefining “Reality” via the Boob Tube

I am a geek. I’ll be the first to admit it, with no reservations. Star Trek, Star Wars, UFO (anyone else remember this awesome series?), Stargate Atlantis, Dr. Who (Tom Baker!)….the list goes on. I’ve had no problem in the past suspending my hard-learned notions of reality in order to enjoy an intergalactic escape into the many virtual universes offered to me.

Here’s the important part: I knew it wasn’t REAL. And nobody tried to tell me that it was.

Flash forward to today, and I find myself making a conscious effort to avoid most of what is on the tube. Instead of imaginative, fun stories, we are now inundated with “Reality” television. What the hell is going on? If I hear one more person ask if this show or that one is real, I am going to have a “Scanners” moment. Even today, another article appears on Yahoo news (click the pic), about some actress (Katherine Heigl, ugh) going on about the show “Dance Moms”. Please, I beg you, buy a brain cell.

Katherine Heigl’s Mouth (I don’t like her so this is all you get)

One cable station even tells you this in their tag line:  “Not reality, ACTUALITY!”. What in bloody blue blazes does that mean? I had to break a friend’s heart when I finally told him that “Storage Wars” was completely scripted. I mean, there are actually first person accounts of watching them film the damned thing. Brings to mind the old “Piranha Brothers” Monty Python skit:

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When The Laughter Stops – RIP Joe Bodolai

I read today that Joe Bodolai took his own life.  Here’s one of the stories.

I was not familiar with Joe, though I’ve probably experienced his work through his writing on SNL and “The Kids in the Hall”.

But I decided to read his last blog post, which every article about him seems to be referencing. I guess I’m drawn to those types of things, but I also thought that maybe I’d get some incite into why someone would end their life.

So I read it. All of it. It’s a long post. And it made me so very sad.  It’s easy to Sunday morning quarterback and box up a person neatly into this or that category. Especially if we don’t know them. But what is the sum of a life? Truly, he wrote this not from a bright and shiny place in his life. He may have already planned his end. Or did his rumination lead him to make a tragic, spur of the moment decision? We will never know.

Here is the link to his blog. Give it a read. Rest in peace, Joe. Give the angels something to laugh about.

Why I Think I’m Losing My Mind

More and more, I find myself asking people around me if it’s a full moon.  I think that society as a whole is suffering from some form of dementia and it’s becoming the norm.  It’s come on so gradually that we’ve missed the transition to the current state of alteration. What have we done to ourselves? In the name of political correctness. In the name of not impinging on the rights of the criminally insane. Who are our heroes now? I shudder when I see the “celebrities” that people look to or look up to.

Seriously? You know, I usually try to be upbeat and polite. But come on. These people are just this side of mental retardation.

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