No Hope For Humanity
Conversation between a mom and her 5’ish year old daughter. in the bathroom stall next to me at the Cheesecake Factory restaurant last weekend:
Girl: I want to get a tattoo.
Mom: Don’t you want a matching tattoo, like mommy’s? We could match.
Girl: No. I want to get one with letters, a name. And a heart!
Mom: You want a name? But…
Girl: I know! I’ll get ____’s name, and with the heart, and a swoosh!
Mom: Oh, you don’t want to get your brother’s name tattooed on you.
Girl: Why not?
Mom: Daddy and I don’t believe in getting names of people we love tattooed on us.
A very brief pause…..
Mom: Well, what if daddy dies and mommy wants to get remarried, and then she has daddy’s name on her body? What would my new husband think?
What I wish I’d said through the wall of the stall?
“Honey, just make sure you get it in a place with enough room. I’m thinking your thigh or your back! Then, when you remarry, you can just cross off the prior guy and add the new one!”
No, I didn’t say a word. Saw them at the sink on the way out. Adorable child. All I could think was “we’re doomed.”